Filed by an anonymous fleet officer – 3rd of May 2025.
As the rum cooled and the sea grew restless, the brave sailors of HEART and AHOY—resupplied generously by IMPRI’s own Eric “Powder Monkey” Bloodhair—rose to meet a most inconvenient British invasion. Clan LDDL had decided that Bimini looked far too peaceful.
What followed was a proper naval clash: sails torn, broadsides booming, and courage tested on all sides.
The battle opened with a decisive strike—[HEART] Hartje landed the first kill by ambushing a stray British ship that had wandered too far from its fleet, likely in search of biscuits.
[AHOY] Meatball Ron held his patch of sea with such ferocity, not even a jellyfish dared pass through. He guarded it like a terrier and thrashed anyone foolish enough to try.
Elsewhere, [AHOY] Capn Rocko soloed a Niagara-class ship, armed with grit, gunpowder, and what we can only assume was an unsettling grin throughout.
New blood made their mark too—[HEART] Mencio notched his first PVP kill, a moment that won’t soon be forgotten.
[HEART] Minori van Eiksteen tallied three kills with the calm efficiency of someone cleaning up after a tavern brawl—swift, thorough, and nothing left afloat.
Though [AHOY] Hussar’s sails were reduced to pirate laundry by the end, he still sank two ships. Turns out, you don’t need speed when your aim’s that deadly.
And then there was [HEART] Sallee Rover, whose ship sank somewhere between a stiff breeze and a bad mood. Unfazed, he clambered aboard a nearby ally’s vessel like it was all part of the plan and carried on without missing a beat.
When the waves settled, 11 British ships had been sunk at the cost of just three of ours. The sea itself seemed saltier afterward—perhaps from British tears.